The Era of the Sibs

Today was truly the first big step towards me leaving Hawaii. My older brother hopped on a plane and flew off to his new life. My younger brother went home to the apartment that housed all of my "Sibs", and was able to call it his and his alone.

I am fine, and the boy is fine, but we are both sad that we won't get to be together as a family for a while. He does not understand what an exceptional year this has been, and for that I am truly happy. He saw this year as "normal", because he does not know that this has not happened before, and will not happen again.

I have always described my brothers and myself as three only children who happen to have siblings. We were born in different decades, different states, different socioeconomic backgrounds.

Kurt has never lived with us, other than a few weeks during summers before Oliver was born. Other than that, he has popped in and out for a week here and there--always very much a part of the family, but with his own, very separate life.

I am a classic middle child, classic only girl child, and in many ways classic only and older child. I had a childhood separated from my brother, so my experiences are mine alone, however Kurt is present in many of my memories. Oliver's arrival made me an "older" and took away the small amount of "only" I had, but I was able to remain the only girl. I am the most serious of the three of us, but also in many ways the most protected.

And then there is Oliver. How does the youngest child also get to be an only child? I left home at 17. He was 10, and was able to rule the roost for quite a few years there. He also was the only one of us to spend his childhood in an urban setting, which shaped his personality and his experiences in ways that are present even today. He was, at the same time, the baby of a huge extended family, and has (at times) enjoyed the perks that go with that particular distinction.

So to the past year.

Through a few twists of fate, we have had the chance to live within shouting distance of one another for the past year. We have had the amazing fortune to be able to do this in Hawaii, truly heaven on earth. We have talked more in the past 15 months than in all of the previous years combined. We have been able to support and critique one another's lives the way other siblings are able to do as children. It has been an amazing experience, and I will treasure the past year more than almost any other experience.

Thank you Oliver and Kurt, for being here with me. Thank you for allowing me to be here with you. Thank you for the chance to get to know you as adults, and for giving me the mirror I needed in order to learn more about myself. Thank you for helping me raise my son surrounded by those who love him. Because of you he knows that not all family members have to live so far away.

Beyond all else, thank you for the memories of countless sunsets (must we count? Ok, let's say 200, give or take a couple dozen), of beautiful beach days, and endless summer breezes. My thoughts of Hawaii will always include you, and of this time we've shared.

Mahalo, me ke aloha. (Thank you, with love)